Comfort Food for the Heavy Heart
a fun recipe included- if all we have is now, lets make a memory.
I spent Sunday celebrating the little ones in my life. In the morning, we went to a first birthday party where I witnessed all the nephews playing together. Stomping up and down the stairs to their imaginary worlds. “Shh, quiet! An adult is coming” I heard one squeal when I went to find them. I hung outside the door a moment longer, smiling at the idea that I was the adult. Funny how we don’t always see ourselves that way. Afterward, we scooted over to a friend’s house where the family was visiting from Texas. The large house was filled with cousins, aunties, grandma, and grandpa. We cooked and I learned how to feed a baby “cereal”. Afterward, she was so tired she fell asleep on my chest- only stirring when the conversation became quiet. The noise is what comforted her.
It was a simple day, filled with simple moments. And, yet yesterday, when I heard the news of another senseless horrific act in our country, the memories from Sunday kept my emotions at bay.
As we become older, and more rooted in our lives, the senselessness of what we hear on the news becomes more unfathomable. The Buffalo massacre not ten days ago weighed heavy. “We can’t even go grocery shopping anymore,” I thought.
But, yesterday… Jesus, as an aunt, as a friend to teachers, as a person- all I keep thinking is “again?!” for the 948th time since Sandy Hook. I lived in Connecticut when Sandy Hook occurred. I was 22 years old and horrified at the senselessness. The morning after the shooting, I found myself driving south on I-84 for 20 minutes instead of north to Hartford. Parking my car a few blocks from the barricades, my steps brought me over to 100 feet from the school, the chill of the lost souls sat thick in the air as the early morning streets filled with news cameras, police, and mourners. “How senseless” one woman wailed as her husband comforted her. I cried with her, thinking this will be the last time something this disgusting happens.
Ten years and 948 times later, yesterday now hits harder. This morning, I thought of my nephew who loves the bus, and his Mom who most likely held onto him just a little bit longer when he got on it this morning. I thought of my best friend, who left her 5-month-old to go to school this morning. In her Kindergarten classroom, the first thing she checked was the emergency locks on her doors, that coincidentally do not work. I think of the children who survived Sandyhook, who are older now, and how they must feel today. How do the parents of children at Sandyhook, or Parkland, or the 948 other school shootings that have occurred since then, who didn’t survive feel right now? This isn’t exactly an exclusive club you want more members in.
There are things we cannot protect those we love from. I can’t stop Marco, my beautiful rescue dog, from trying to eat a bee. But, I can train him not to run in the street after one. I can’t stop my niece and nephews from tripping, or the countless little pain they’ll experience in their lives, but I can teach them how to get back up. We can prepare for little moments, but, why is preparing for a mass murderer something we should add to the list?
Today, and the coming days, are about permission. It is normal and healthy to be experiencing a varying range of emotions. Today is a day where all of us should grant ourselves permission to feel what we experience because today is a day where we are all collectively in the wake of something so senseless, so soulless, again.
In the wake of that anger, sadness, and frustration, I hope you also give yourself permission to turn off the news, put your phone on do not disturb, and find comfort. Find comfort with a movie or your favorite snack. Find comfort in a small moment, like drawing with your kids or watching your cat try and finally get that laser light.
In the midst of this chaos, I can’t offer much. But, I can give you a comfort food recipe in hopes that you can create a memory together. Nourish your soul with the little giggles, tender moments, forehead kisses, hugs, and laughs.
If all we have is now, let’s make now a memorable moment.
Sending you all the love and my from Scratch Funfetti Cupcakes stuffed with Oreos
Funfetti Cupcakes. Photo taken my Leanne Gelish Studio
INGREDIENTS:
Cupcakes
· 3/4 cup milk
· 1/2 Tbsp apple sauce
· 1 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
· 1 tsp baking powder
· 1/2 cup salted butter, softened
· 1 1/4 cup granulated sugar
· 3 large eggs
· 2 tsp vanilla extract
· 1/4 cup sprinkles
· One Pack of Double Stuffed Oreos
Buttercream
· 4 cups powdered sugar
· 1 cup salted butter, softened
· 2 tsp vanilla extract
· 2-3 Tbsp light cream
· 1/3 cup sprinkles
INSTRUCTIONS
1. Preheat the oven to 350˚F. Line two muffin tins with paper liners (makes 14).
2. In a small bowl, mix together 3/4 cup milk and apple sauce. Set aside to "sour".
3. In a medium bowl, mix together the flour and the baking powder.
4. In a separate bowl, cream together 1/2 cup butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add in the eggs one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Mix in the vanilla extract.
5. Mix in the dry ingredients and the sour milk, alternating between the two until fully incorporated.
6. Line the bottom of the paper liners with mix (but, don’t fill all the way!)
7. Place your oreo in the middle and press them down
8. Cover the oreo with the remainder of the mix
9. Divide the mixture into the prepared muffin pans. Bake in the preheated oven for 15-20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean. Allow cooling on wire racks.
10. Meanwhile, cream together all of the buttercream ingredients until smooth. Pipe onto the cooled cupcakes.