Happy November 1st, friends: I wrote 1,826 words this morning.
I found out it eerily comforting when I settled into my office chair and realized the first day of NaNoWriMo is Dia de Muertos: in many ways, I’m writing to a ghost, so its apropos that I should start on the day celebrating the dead.
I write, a lot, about embracing our individual journey’s, not comparing ourselves to others, and what it’s like to let go of the thoughts or idioms that hold us back. For a while, I worried about writing pieces like that on the internet: would I be cancelled or called out if people realized that I… pause for dramatic effect…. don’t have it all together?
Until I realized that maybe that’s why you’re here.
I’ve hurt people, and I’ve been hurt.
I’ve made mistakes, and I’ve been impacted by others mistakes, too.
I do not sit here and write from a podium of all knowing, but rather, I sit with you and try to learn along the way. My theory being, “I can’t be the only one out here who is feeling this way, right? So, if I share it, maybe it will help someone else.”
The truth is, for most of my twenties, I’ve been way too hard on myself these past few years. That’ll happen when your world is turned upside down and you need to hold onto an iota of control.
Except, today, I don’t want to be my worst critic anymore.
And, maybe that’s what you want, too.
Being hard on myself has kept me from dreams and aspirations for almost a decade. I have found ways to distract myself from the subconscious voice in my head that has said “I want to be a writer”, since college.
And, maybe you have that dream voice, too. Maybe you want to shed the things that hold you back just as badly.
At the surface, NaNoWriMo is about writing 1,667 words a day towards a novel. On December 1st, writers will have a minimum of 50,000 words to hold onto- to edit, to maybe even publish.
For me, these next 4 weeks, the upcoming 29 days, are not about writing 50,000 words. It’s about showing up for myself and my dream. It’s about finishing a draft, having something tangible for someone to read. It’s about moving past those moments of doubt, self consciousness, and worry that has clouted my attempts before.
Writing 1,667 words a day will be 1,667 little moments where I showed up for myself. Where I said to myself that my dream since I was 7 years old is worth pursuing. It’s not that this idea is better than any other idea I’ve had (although, I do believe it is), it’s about the fact that I finally believe in myself enough to chase it.
November represents the culmination of the lessons I’ve learned this year, the most important being that it is okay to prioritize yourself for your own happiness.
It’s not going to be easy, but it will be easier than living with regret.
I’m moving the marker towards my dream, and I want you to try, too. It’s not going to happen all at once, but let’s promise ourselves to try. Those tiny, little steps forward, amount to huge rewards if you’re consistent with it.
The only difference between the people you admire and you is that they pushed the marker sooner. You can have all that you want, but only if you try.
This is a little unprovoked mid-week stream of conscious bonus, and I’ll be back tomorrow with a delicious appetizer for Sunday Football.
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