I’ve made it a habit to write little short stories around Christmas time. Last year, I shared my beloved Wheezy. This year I was inspired after learning that all of Santa’s reindeer are technically women… because of course they are. I hope you enjoy it!
In the whimsical world of the North Pole, where candy canes grow like flowers and elves wear shoes that curl at the toes, a most extraordinary event was unfolding on the night before Christmas. Now, my dear reader, brace yourself for a tale as fantastical as flying reindeer and trespassing across the world.
It all began when Santa, usually the rosy-cheeked maestro of Christmas cheer, found himself in a predicament involving a suspiciously potent batch of festive eggnog. The workshop clock ticked away, and Santa, with a snore louder than the jingling of a thousand sleigh bells, was down for the count. Christmas hung in the balance, a worry that worried head elf, Alice.
"What will we do?" she paced and raced around the workshop when one daring elf named Ace exclaimed, what if we do a reverse swap?"
Mrs. Claus stood at the top of the stairs, too embarrassed by all the stares. Her husband of thousands of years, allowed his Irish to knock him out, despite his pounds.
Alice and Ace started to glow with a knowing and Mrs. Claus whispered "oh no."
In a twinkle of peppermint magic, Mrs. Claus, with her twinkling eyes and apron adorned with gingerbread crumbs, decided she must not be shy, she would moonlight as the Big Guy. "You don't need to ask, Alice." she bellowed, and wondered if Ace could find her some pillows.
"Mrs. C will save Christmas!" Ace explained, as the other elves in the workshop exclaimed. With bravado and flare, Mrs. Claus floated down the stairs.
Mrs. Claus summoned Missy, the Girl Doll Elf with a penchant for precision, and hatched a plan wilder than that time Fred Claus tried to Save the Big Day.
"Missy, my dear," Mrs. Claus whispered with a mischievous glint in her eye, "Christmas must go on! Gather the glam squad and prepare for a radiant revolution."
Enter Ruby, the Female Rudolph, with her shimmering red nose that could rival the glow of a thousand sugarplums. Mrs. Claus, being quite the wiz with whimsical words, declared, "Ruby, my dear, paint my cheeks with the blush of the first snowfall. We're about to dazzle the night."
And so, with strokes as delicate as the flutter of snowflakes, Ruby transformed Mrs. Claus into a vision of festive radiance. Her rosy cheeks now shone like the winter sun on a snowy day, and Mrs. Claus couldn't help but giggle as Missy tied her hair back, tight as a fiddle.
Meanwhile, Vixen, the most fashion-forward of the reindeer, approached with the iconic red suit. "Hold on tight, Mrs. C," Vixen said, her eyes sparkling like tinsel in the moonlight. "We're about to cinch this suit tighter than a Christmas present."
With a flick of her antlers and a wink that could rival the North Star, Vixen worked her magical cinching skills. The red suit clung to Mrs. Claus like wrapping paper around the most enchanting gift.
And so, bedecked in festive finery and twinkling with holiday allure, Mrs. Claus stood ready to take on the reins. The elves, usually as mischievous as a band of gremlins, looked on in awe. Even the snowmen, usually frozen in stoic silence, exchanged snowy nods of approval.
As Mrs. Claus took her place in the sleigh, a choir of sugarplum fairies hummed a melody only audible to those with hearts full of Christmas spirit. The clock struck midnight, and the sleigh lifted into the star-studded sky, leaving behind a trail of sparkles that danced like mischievous sprites.
With a twinkle in her eye and a heart full of holiday merriment, Mrs. Claus soared into the night, the sleigh guided by the radiant glow of her rosy cheeks.
The journey, my dear reader, was nothing short of a fantastical voyage through peppermint-scented clouds and gingerbread-sprinkled constellations. Mrs. Claus, usually the unsung hero of Christmas, now held the reins, and she guided the sleigh with the finesse only a woman could display.
As the sleigh descended upon rooftops adorned with twinkle lights and chimney smoke that curled like vanilla-scented wisps, Mrs. Claus couldn't help but revel in the magic of the night.
But the real surprise awaited at each stop. Mrs. Claus now understood why Mr. Claus was always so heavy, she had never been given more cookies, oh boy it was heavenly.
On the last stop of the night, Mrs. Claus' belt felt too tight. Next to the fireplace in the dark of the night, she unbuckled and her pillows fell out, causing her such a fright.
Unbeknownst to Mrs. Claus, a little girl named Lily peeked around the corner and was aghast- her dreams of Santa being real were dashed.
Mrs. Claus heard the beep of her deadline, quickly, she made a beeline. Before Mrs. Claus could shimmy around the tree to the chimney, she saw Lily looking quite misty.
"What's wrong, my dear?" Mrs. Claus asked before dinging up to the reindeer. She had a schedule to adhere to.
"There's no such thing as Santa," Lily explained. "You're just a lady with pillows as a stomach and bad bangs."
Mrs. Claus flummoxed with her hair, before looking at Lily with adoration and care.
"Little girl, I'll have you know that it is Women who run the show. All of the reindeer are female, the head elf too, you should be proud that you're part of the gender that prevails!"
Lily looked up, a smile so bright. As Mrs. Claus made her ascent, Mrs. Claus heard her belief in holiday magic reaching new heights.
The clock struck dawn, and the sleigh touched down at the North Pole. Mrs. Claus, with her rosy cheeks and a heart full of holiday magic, descended from the sleigh to a cheering crowd of elves and reindeer.
"Thank you, Mrs. Claus!" cheered Ruby, the Female Rudolph, her nose twinkling with pride. "Thank you, Ruby- that was quite the ride!"
And so, with a heart full of holiday cheer and a rosy glow that rivaled the setting sun, Mrs. Claus, the radiant revolutionary of the North Pole, brought the curtain down on a Christmas Eve like no other.
And as the snowflakes settled and the North Pole embraced the dawn of Christmas Day, the echoes of laughter and the scent of gingerbread lingered in the air—the legacy of Mrs. Claus' leaving everyone gay.
At noon on the dot, Mr. Claus realized he was naught. Ever the supporting role, Mrs. Claus offered Mr. Claus words of console.
"My dear, we've witnessed the magic that happens when we embrace the unexpected. Christmas isn't confined to tradition; it's a canvas waiting for a splash of intuition. All the children still believe in you, except for one young girl who knows what is true. For thousands of years, you've heard all the cheers. It was fun to be you, it's as glamorous as it appears."
Mr. Claus smiled and gave Mrs. Claus' rosy cheeks a peck and promised next year he would not be a train wreck.
And so, my dear reader, may your holidays be filled with the kind of magic that only a woman can bring. A world where the ordinary becomes extraordinary, and the spirit of merriment reigns supreme.
The End.