Today is my husband's birthday, and it’s also our one-month anniversary. Before our wedding, I drafted vows to exchange with him in the Church. A few weeks later, I learned that we would be exchanging vows from the Bible, but I still kept writing mine until 4:30 in the morning on our wedding day.
When I met Dan in 2018, I didn’t love myself or the life I built. I won’t lie: I was immediately attracted to Dan’s quiet nature, confidence, and the way he never needed to overexplain himself. Over the years, I fell in love with all the pieces of him, slowly and then all at once. I think we both knew, to some degree, that there was something more brewing. Honestly, I think everyone knew. And, even if it took us until October 2021 to finally cement this, I’m grateful we told our story at our speed.
Dan has always seen the best in me, and even more importantly, he’s given me the space to be free. He is my home, plain and simple. I longed for this feeling of safety and adventure for most of my life, and I’m grateful it took 34 years to get it- it makes me cherish what we have even more.
To a certain degree, it’s grave to know that life will ebb and flow. I aim to be in the now, but there’s an omnipresent sense of “knowing” that we will face difficulties, personally and as a couple. That used to scare me; it would keep me up at night like the haunting of a boogeyman under my bed. I’d lay staring at my ceiling, wondering “what else” would be thrown my way. No umbrella would protect me from the unexpected shoe dropping from the sky. With Dan, I’m not scared anymore. I think about, of course- I’m human and have a lot of outliers. But Dan gives me a sense of security and instills in me the value of who I am. I’m so grateful for the pocket of life that is just our own.
In honor of today, I’d like to share my vows with all of you.
This is not the best day of my life,
Because we have so many days ahead of us.
This is a great day,
A beautiful day,
A day full of love and new beginnings.
But it can’t be the best day.
Making today the “best day” would set the rest of our days up for failure.
To put so much pressure on one day,
The day that launches our life together,
It’s unfair to the rest of our days as husband and wife.
It’s absolute and final, and I refuse to allow our wedding to be the peak of our life together.
Today is our jumping-off point,
The moment we interlock our fingers and say that whatever unknown comes our way, we will conquer it.
We are destined for more of the “best days” because we are the best versions of ourselves when together.
The cosmos, God, worked hard to bring us together. Even with an eight-year age gap, we’ve crossed paths in several ways.
We both went to Catholic School- I walked the halls of your alma mater four years after you graduated.
We both went to college in Albany and even more fateful; we were at the same Dave Matthews Band Concert in West Palm Beach.
Our trails crossed in so many different ways, but it wasn’t until you landed in my quiet bar on a Tuesday night that we officially met. Your friendship became salient in the cornerstones of my life, and six years later, I know that our deep love and understanding of one another will carry us through every storm.
Today is a great day, even with the rain and the last-minute change of plans. Even that challenge showed us the strength of what we have built, from our ability to communicate, compromise, and pivot- we never let anything derail us.
Today is our benchmark.
It’s the day that will measure all the rest of our days, ensuring that we never dip below the joy we feel in this moment.
When life becomes difficult, we will reflect on today and remember all the people who invested in us. We will rely on the love we feel today and use it to bounce us back when needed.
Dan, thank you for being the shore my unpredictable waves can softly land on.
Thank you for seeing the best in me when I didn’t and being the silent strength that led me home. Thank you for loving me as I am and knowing all that I can be. There will never be enough words to tell you how much I love you and how grateful I am for each second we chose one another. You have made my life the most remarkable love story; I love you more, always.