With Soul:
I’m sitting here at our kitchen island, the dogs asleep in the bedroom together on the unmade bed, writing to you for the first time from this new space. As of Saturday, we have Internet, and with today off, I cannot wait to use this time to watch RuPauls Drag Race while unpacking the last box to try and surprise Dan with a “close to finish” office when he comes home.
An unedited view from my morning.
On Saturday, we were out to dinner when I made my first Etsy sale. An Etsy shop might seem surprising to you, since I haven’t announced it- which is why that sale is surprising to me. I made $15 and you would have thought I won the lottery. I beamed, saw that the buyer wasn’t one of my friends, and this sense of “yep, you’re making the right decision” settled in my heart, the universal assurance I needed as I work towards this rooted goal.
I haven’t announced the Salt, with Soul shop yet because it’s not perfect. It doesn't have the perfect images, there are items in progress I want to list, I keep going back and forth on “how” I want to market this all and because of this and good old imposter syndrome, I haven’t told anyone. “It’s not perfect yet” I kept telling myself… until Sunday morning while I was on my morning walk around the pond when I thought “Why does it have to be perfect? Why can’t it grow? Cody from Massachusetts didn’t care that it wasn’t perfect- they liked an item all on their own".”
/pərˈfek(t)/
make (something) completely free from faults or defects, or as close to such a condition as possible.
Think of all the times we use “perfect” a day. "
“That’s the perfect couch”
“That was the most perfect meal.”
“I found the perfect eyeliner.”
It sounds like an unassuming word until we start using it as a way to set unrealistic goals for ourselves. “Perfectionism” is often portrayed by society as the only way to achieve “great success”. And, we all adapt this differently in our lives. Some of us want to appear flawless on social media- using photoshop and filters to erase the parts of you that make you human. Some of us want our personal lives to seem perfect- often conflating the happy moments to hide the moments that aren’t so great. And, some of us use perfectionism to hold ourselves back from stepping outside our comfort zone, in our personal lives and in our career.
While none of this is inherently “bad” the truth is, all of this holds us back from true happiness. When we hold ourselves to an unrealistic expectation of what life is “supposed to be”, we hold ourselves back from experiencing life as it is. After all, if we did everything perfectly the first time, where would the joy of experiencing growth comes from?
Perfectionism is rooted in our deepest insecurities; whether it’s anxiety, insecurity or a feeling of inadequacy, the moment we start stepping inside the realm of perfectionism is the moment we have to take a step back and do a self check. If you find that you’re holding yourself back from something because it doesn’t seem “perfect” yet, ask yourself “why”. Whether it’s in your personal life, a hobby, a passion project or a simple Etsy shop, you deserve to experience happiness, and your perfectionism is holding you back. After all, who are you trying to impress? Your life is meant for you to live- and the more you let go and give in to authenticity, the more success you’ll find: both in your personal life, and professionally.
Life is not about being the best, it’s about being brave enough to put yourself out there. Life is about trying new things, thinking outside the box and finding joy.
And, with that- I created an Etsy shop that I cannot wait to continue to grow.
JOURNAL PROMPT OF THE WEEK:
My favorite messy moment lately was_______________
Think of something that didn’t go as planned recently. Describe what you were aiming for, what happened, and how it left you feeling. Did the aftermath leave you laughing? Did something better come from it?
I’ll go first: my favorite messy moment lately was the saga of the garbage can. In moving, my perfectionism comes out in decorating and making sure it feels like home. Moving always causes a micro-shift in our equilibriums and I cope by making it nice. Last week, I hastily ordered a stainless steel garbage can since there is no where to “hide” the can. I was so excited for it to arrive, and when Dan picked it up at the clubhouse, he was left… confused. He came into our apartment with this tiny box under his arm and said “baby, I don’t think the garbage can came today.” I checked Amazon and it said it was delivered, so we opened the box and just started laughing. My perfect garbage can was meant for a bathroom and in my hastiness I didn’t read the dimensions. It’s become a living legend thanks to Instagram, and I wouldn’t change it any other way.
I’ll see you Thursday with a little Salt.
xx,
L