On our morning walk Tuesday, I said to Dan, “I wonder when the fish will awaken, it’s almost spring.” We were on the path closest to a man made pond, watching Marco sniff the blades of grass closest to the water. The air was still and the foliage bare: reminding us that it was still winter, despite the unusually warm few days.
Dan stopped, and wondered too before we continued to the last leg of our walk.
We’re getting married in two days. The forecast is sad, to say the least: we won’t be able to bask in those unusually warm few days. We have clear umbrellas, our friends have more. We are lucky enough to pivot the photos to a beautiful museum right in the heart of our town, still inside the park we originally planned our family portraits. The same park we became “official” in three years ago. We might not be able to walk from one location to the next like I hoped, but I’m sure we’ll do that many more times in our future, anyway.
After creating a new plan yesterday morning, I took the dogs for a walk to try and decompress from decision fatigue. We walked our usual path, down the stairs, and around the pond. A light drizzle started while we were half way through, but we kept walking anyway. I might as well get used to moving through a little rain, right?
In a little corner of the pond, I saw cluster of bright orange fluttering. Marco, the ever curious hunting dog, walked closer to the edge of the water to sniff it out, Penny pulled to follow. As I got closer I realized it was a pod of baby fishes making their way through this new world. “I guess they do know when it’s time to awaken.” I said aloud to no one in particular. I looked closer at the end of the tree branch and saw it was getting ready to bloom. In one day, the nature around me shifted to their new beginning.
Like Spring, our marriage is a new beginning and our lives will change in one day. In many ways, we’re the buds on the end of a cherry blossom tree: on Saturday, we’ll blossom together.
Of course I was disappointed when I saw the forecast for Saturday. When you plan an entire year for one day, you want all the pieces to fall together in your favor. What I learned in the two hours it took to re-configure some plans is that it is falling in our favor.
I felt how we have a community surrounding us. From our family and friends sending us positive texts: like how rain is good luck or how we can collect some rain to baptize our future baby with. To community leaders helping us find a space indoors for family photos, we are entering a life so full of love and support. We are entering a life I always wished for.
Not all our days ahead will be bright and sunny, but whatever happens, we’ll face each storm together with a community of love surrounding us.
It’s funny how I’ve written more this month after saying I might take a break. Writing freely has been cathartic, even if I’m treating a substack like a blogger (IYKYK). Taking a beat and not over analyzing how I write has helped me put some pieces together, and I’m looking forward to what’s ahead.
On Monday, I was interviewed about my recent Book, “Seasons: A Collection of Poetry and Journal to Healing.” It’s my hope that this book helps people connect with themselves, and I am so grateful for all the positive feedback so far. You can buy your copy here.
I’ll see you next week, friends.
If you enjoy my writing, perhaps you’ll consider joining my party in the corner and becoming a free or paid subscriber. Social media can be shut down instantly, but e-mail subscribers are more of a commitment. Just know that if you become a subscriber, I take a screenshot and send it to Dan with the “eyes-welling” emoji because each new “like” is a glimmer of my dreams for the future.