Happy Monday, friends.
It’s a beautiful spring day this Sunday afternoon as I write this. I am listening to the birds of our neighborhood chirp and the quiet snores of Penny and Marco.
On Saturday, we attended our nephew’s fifth birthday party, which was Mario Kart themed. Growing up, my brother and I didn’t have many video games, but the one I was an expert at was Mario Kart. We’d visit my cousin’s, who had EVERY system, and the only game I’d ask to play is “Mario Kart”. While my cousins usually chose Toad for his quickness or “Bowser” for his “smashing” capabilities, I always chose “Yoshi” because he was balanced in both speed and weight. Plus, he was green. And, that’s my favorite color.
It was fun to see a new generation love Mario Kart, too. A few years ago, I could never have imagined that I would be “free” to attend a birthday party on a Saturday because I was always working. It’s amazing how life changes so quietly, and I find that I’m attuned to listening for it because I want to experience those quiet wins in my life.
It was especially meaningful and well-timed, given that I have been slightly questioning my 2023 pivot. Even though I am significantly happier now, a small piece of me wonders if I am making the right decision as a photographer- mainly, am I giving up, or am I preserving my passion? Let’s see…
Last week, I defined freedom as trust.
The ultimate freedom is trusting yourself enough to follow your path, make mistakes, fall, get back up, and keep the vision of how you want your life to look at the forefront of every decision. The ultimate freedom is remembering that even in the bad streaks, there is always good on the other side. Freedom is a deep sense of knowing that how you visualize your life will come true, as long as you chip away at that goal every day.
In re-reading my own writing, I can’t help but smirk at the irony. I started my week defining freedom as trust, outlining how trusting yourself is paramount to success, only to spend the rest of that week doing the opposite.
It’s so easy to trust yourself when it’s all working out, right? It’s so easy to say “I’m doing great” when nothing unexpected happens, because when it’s copacetic, “joy” is easy to find. It’s much more difficult to come back to this point when we start to feel our own expectations weigh on us, though.
There is an impatience about the growth process we all experience at some point or another. There is an urgency to live that pulses through us, compounded by the constant feed of everyone else’s activity. Regardless of how many times we tell ourselves this, there are moments where each of us experiences the “I should be____” spiral. There is usually an external catalyst that eats away at us, too. And, the problem with the “I should be_____ spiral” is that once it starts, almost everything becomes a trigger.
Within this downward spiral, the expectations we have for ourselves become heavier, almost unbearable. The more we live in this murky uncomfortableness, the more we leave trust behind. How could we trust if we are not where we “should be”? How can we navigate anything when we don’t trust the goal we outlined for ourselves?
In thinking about this on our drive home, I started to think about Mario Kart.
Life, is a lot like a game of Mario Kart. If you try and speed through the course, like Toad, you’ll find yourself easily knocked off course by going into a turn too quickly or hitting a lame banana with too much speed. If you slam through life with aggression like Bowser, you’ll find that you’re the bad guy… and usually end up in last place. But, if you take life like Yoshi- with a good pace and well-balanced, you’ll find that even when an occasional red shell or banana will slip you up, they don’t completely de-rail you.
Like Mario Kart- there are some courses that are easier, and some that are damn near impossible (Looking at you, Rainbow Road). But, the game would be so boring if we were only ever at Luigi Circuit, right? It’s the excitement of the unknown that makes Bowser’s Castle so much fun. It’s the rush of getting through Rainbow Road without falling off that is the victory.
If life is a game of Mario Kart, the “should be’s” are that black smudge that someone uses against the player who is ahead of them. The key to getting through the "black smudge” is staying true to the course, and not panicking. It’s the players who panic, swerve, or react by hitting the brakes or gas too quickly, that lose their position, after all.
This brings it all back to this:
If “freedom” is trust, then “the should be’s” are just a test. Within those tests, you just have to remind yourself that where you are now, is part of where you always wanted to be: in my case, that’s presence. And, in wanting, no, needing, to be present, I must preserve my passion.
JOURNAL PROMPT OF THE WEEK
Let’s stick to the theme of video games and superheroes this week, friends.
“If I could have one superpower, it would be _____________ because_____________”
I love this question because it sort of answers our desires in a fantasy-like way. As always, I’ll go first.
“If I could have one superpower, it would be the ability to talk with animals because I believe we can learn the most from them.”
Before Marco and Penny, there was my English Labrador, Emmett James. He was a rescue, and for ten years, he rescued me. He taught me responsibility, he taught me presence, and most importantly, he taught me to love and to be loved.
I always joked that I could speak “Moo” better than anyone, which is true. He was expressive and easy to communicate with, but wouldn’t it be great if we could speak to all animals? I’d love to learn what they’ve experienced, or what they see. I would love to be able to easily help them, too. Plus, I’d imagine that if I was in some epic superhero fight scene, being able to call in all the animals would be pretty unbeatable. Because of course, I would also have some sort of shield that prevents them from being hurt when fighting for justice.
My superpower wish represents my empathy in the purest form. As most people who know me will tell you, I love my dogs more than most people. My dogs, while idiosyncratic, silly, and occasionally needy, are so whole in their love and I wish we all could live that vulnerably.
Now, your turn! Think about what superpower you’d like, and what the means about you.
As always, thank you for being here. We will be back Thursday for some Salt, and in the meantime, you can find me on Instagram at Leannegelish or loveyourselfspace.
Speaking of love yourself space, I created a new sticker that I handed out Friday at our Fundraiser for LIDVA and they were a hit. I have been working on pricing and new designs, and it’s been fun to see something grow so organically in only 3 weeks! I recently signed up for a digital marketing masterclass, and have already learned new ways to help it grow. Check the store here.