With Soul: If it Hasn't Worked Out, It Isn't the End
how re-discovering passion reminded me that's it's all trial and error
Happy Monday, friends.
Our apartment is silent, at the moment. I am sitting upstairs, where it’s a few degrees warmer than the cool 68 degrees it is downstairs. Marco has just let out a big sigh from downstairs, Penny is laying under the desk on my feet, and Dan is at his favorite Chinese restaurant.
I’ve written about sixteen drafts of this newsletter. I’ve described the details of my desk in one draft, started getting into how much I love my 5:30 a.m. texts with my brother (I truly do) and even drew a comparison of my life and Brene Brown. It was poignant, for the record. Brene got sober at 34 and built a beautiful life- a shining example that you life is long and you can re-invent yourself.
All of which leads me to the title of this weeks “Soul”.
If it hasn’t worked out, it isn’t over.
There are so many moments in my life where it has felt like throwing the spaghetti at the wall. In my career, in my ambitions, and in relationships, too. There are moments I have fled from, moments I haven’t been my best self, and moments where I displayed how deeply insecure I was.
And, in all of those moments, the one surviving feeling is the one in which I continue to push myself to find what ignites my soul. Finding your passion is a luxury of time, I know. And, while it might seem trivial, the truth is, finding passion and purpose is not only deeply personal, but also trial and error.
The truth is, Salt with Soul is driven by “pings” or “urges” that do not settle until I either write down the idea or investigate it. I know in every fiber of my being that “writing” as a creative expression is my authentic code, but that sense of knowing doesn’t make it easier to pursue.
The truth is, the concept of “purpose” has become deeply mainstream over the last few years, and I wonder if it’s driving all of us a little mad. We are brainwashed into believing we just wake up and “know” what our purpose is, and frankly, that’s just not true. Sure, we can spend time brainstorming or thinking back to what little us wanted to be. Sure, some people are fortunate enough to pick a career and find a tremendous amount of a success in it.
And, some of us are meant to have various careers that give us skills along the way.
It’s those of us who have tried, failed, and been through the fire that understand just how difficult it is to stick to one thing and allow it to evolve and grow because we know finding passion isn’t a retreat- it’s a fucking muddy mountain to climb, and most of the obstacles are you.
Finding the passion or purpose in your life is a trial-by-fire process. You don’t simply wake up one day and become happy doing one thing forever and ever. You have to try, give it time to breathe, see how it feels, and then adjust and try again. We are not going to get it right the first time, and sometimes we’re not going to get it right the fiftieth time. We just have to trust that if it hasn’t worked out yet, it isn’t the end.
If you’re feeling stuck today, or like something in your life is in limbo, I urge you not to find closure but to find trust. It will work out when it’s meant to, and stewing over it won’t make its’ timeline move any faster.
Thank you for reading this very short, sweet, and a little jumbled version of Soul tonight. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t give up on ideas, and this idea has been pervasive in many different areas of my life. I was reminded of that today when a friend said this quote. Frankly, I feel like I could write a novel about it, but this little blurb will do.
Speaking of constantly evolving areas of life, over the weekend my $1 trial at Shopify ended and an hour later I made another sale on Etsy and found a better distribution channel. All of which has freed up the domain “salt with soul”, encouraging me to build something beautiful. Stay tuned.
We’ll be back on Thursday with some “Salt” and I promise it won’t be bread. Stats don’t lie and y’all are over bread.