Happy Monday, friends.
With the first official weekend of fall under our belt, I started to think about some of my favorite summer memories. One that always stands out is the tradition my brother-in-law and I have of jumping off this odd, very high large buoy that floats 400 yards from the shore by Eaton’s Neck.
For boaters, it helps navigation through the Eaton’s Neck Triangle. It’s large, rusted, and doesn’t seem that high. And, so, the two of us decided to scale the ladder and jump. Why not? Well, there are a variety of reasons not to, as we learned.
For one, the swim from your boat to this structure is rough- it’s set in a passing lane where people leave their docks and go out to the sound, so the water is constantly pushed. You have to be a strong swimmer, and then even stronger to get up the ladder. Climbing feels like one of those movie scenes when the tunnel never ends, and eventually, you get to the top and realize this is where the seagulls hang because the smell of dead fish and old bird feathers overwhelms you. Once past that, you get to the edge and realize you are easily 40 feet in the air and there’s no way down but to jump.
The last time we did this was the summer of my divorce. I had to. This jump became more of a sign that I could survive anything, and I needed that. It was 2020, I spent months isolated, and our divorce was delayed by the courts. Being tethered when all I wanted to be was free became a mental warfare I couldn’t prepare for. To take that jump was the freedom I needed. I stood on the edge, took a deep breath, and jumped. For just a moment, time stood still, my thoughts were cleared, and on impact, I smiled- I survived the jump, and it was worth it.
I survived that jump, and I did survive that phase of my life.
Have you ever thought about how much you think?
You have goals, ambitions, and chances you want to take, but you don’t. You think about it. Sometimes you say, aloud or to yourself “I could do that.” but, you haven’t.
In your life, you’re more content standing on the edge of new opportunities.
In the big body of water that is life, you only get your toes wet.
As if by design, it’s easier to hold yourself back. It’s easier to think of every possibility that will go wrong than to imagine all that can go right. As we get older, it’s easier to imagine a life of fallen dreams than to live the life of your dreams.
What would happen if you just jumped in, though?
What would happen if you stopped overanalyzing a situation, and just did it?
What if you lived trial by fire, and actively chose to improve than wait until you’re “perfect”?
What if, instead of just tipping your toes in, you jumped?
What if “trying” or taking the “jump” ends up being the absolute best adventure of your life?
Alternatively, what if you jump but don’t end up where you thought- would you survive swimming in a different direction?
This is a thought that has been lingering in my mind lately. With opportunity on the horizon, I’ve been contemplating what it is I really want. Just yesterday, I wrote my vision board on a bunch of post-its and started to think that some of these goals aren’t unfathomable. A year ago, though? I’d laugh at myself. Is this the season where I finally take a chance on myself?
There has to come a point in life where you choose that soul on fire, burning passion, take a deep breath, and exhale because you can’t believe you’re even here, feeling over the negative thoughts that hold you back.
Maybe it’s rooted in all that we’ve been exploring, you know? As we get to know ourselves, as we feel more comfortable with who we are, as we take those little steps outside of our comfort zone, we feel more emboldened to take bigger risks.
Or, maybe it’s more like the jump off of the buoy: you need to do something you’re so scared to do in order to believe that everything worth doing requires a little risk.
We haven’t jumped in three summers: their boat moved from a mooring to a proper dock on the other side of Eaton’s Neck. We’ve both gotten older, too. In many ways, we don’t need the thrill of that jump anymore- we’re no longer living on the sideline of our lives like we once did. If there is ever a summer where I’m questioning something though, I know that buoy will be there to shake me out of my fear.
JOURNAL PROMPT OF THE WEEK
In your journal, draw a rough circle and then write all the things you dream of doing. On the outside of the circle, write all the things that hold you back from the dreams written in the circle. That’s your life pond, and you’re just dipping your toes in.
This week, instead of just jumping, take a small step toward one of those dreams. If you want to write a novel, outline that idea floating in your mind. If you want to be a painter, buy a canvas, paint, and freestyle for 30 minutes. The action of doing will make everything seem doable.
As always, I’m grateful you’re here. We are 11 days out from our Fall Festival (for anyone not on Long Island- think Gilmore Girls, Hay Bale Maze Episode, but how the town was expecting it before the hay was imported), and while the to-do list continues to grow, the stress is less. After three years, the first a complete trial by fire, you get your cadence, I suppose.
In the midst of planning an event with endless paperwork and insurance documents, I’ve had a ground-shaking “aha” moment, and I’m looking forward to seeing how the next phase unfolds.
As always, you can follow me on Instagram and buy your own journal for these prompts at our shop.
I’ll see you Thursday for a little bit of Salt.