I have lived in two houses, three apartments, five dorm rooms, and eight towns. Throughout all of that time, I have only felt “home” a handful of times.
Most recently, I moved out of my childhood home, again, in January with the notion that anything I left behind I could always pick up over the course of my time. After all, out of all of those spaces, it was most closely my “home”, or, by my definition “a place to go back to.”
Anytime something did not work out in my life, whether it was living in Connecticut, or having to sell my own home while amid divorce, I always had the home my parents bought together in September 1980 to return to. It was a place I could be still while I picked up the pieces of an unraveled life. It was instilled in both my brother and me that we could always return there and so we did. Until one day, recently, it wasn’t ours to return to. It still exists in our namesake, except it will never feel like it did before.
As a noun, “Home” is defined as “the place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household.” Simple. Succinct. Digestible. By that definition, that house was my home. Except, I believe “home” is more than a residence.
To qualify as a “home” a place should both house you and provide you the intangible feeling of peace, joy, and love. Home should be a place to rest, and a place to find the unequivocal feeling of freedom of expression. Home should be a place where the masks we use to protect ourselves from the outside world can come off, and we can be our authentic selves- however, that looks. Home should be a place you return to: both physically and spiritually.
Home can be multiple places and people, too. A fulfilled life is a journey to find different places that feel like “home”. Different places or people that bring us joy, happiness, and peace. Different places or people who allow you to be yourself in the most authentic and beautiful way. Home should always be the moments that fill your cup.
I have lived in two houses, three apartments, five dorm rooms, and eight towns but it is only now, in this present season, that I feel “home”. In my physical space, in myself, and with the relationships of all those who continue to see me for me at each point of my journey. I may not be able to return to the place I thought would always be my safe space and I do not need to anymore. I have “home”, in so many beautiful and unexpected ways.
JOURNAL PROMPT OF THE WEEK:
In the spirit of “home”, I want you to think about all the moments where you have felt like you exhaled a deep sigh of relief.
I Feel Home When:________________________
Make a list of the moments that fill your cup, help you feel grounded in yourself, and allow you to be free to fly.
As always, I’m grateful you’re here. You can follow me on Instagram @ leannegelish and visit our merchandise site www.saltwithsoul.com (it’s currently under a bit of construction to make it more optimized, but it should still be working!) We’ll see you Thursday for a little bit of Salt.