Hey there, friends.
The haziness of August has made me forget my days, and here we are on a Tuesday, again. If there’s one thing this publication has taught me it’s that “consistency” can look different from week to week.
I’ve spent much of the summer months upgrading my personal “growth” software. Life doesn’t get easier, you just become better at managing it, and this summer I realized there were a few things I wanted to heal.
Doing all that work has led me here, on the precipice of change, but not knowing “when” I can talk about it.
In fact, August has been a holding pattern of “When”.
“When I know __________ for certain, I can start moving forward with _______”
I don’t want to make any changes until I know certain things are, well, certain and I find myself suffocating in the anxiety of certainty. Except, why should I wait to make changes? Why am I waiting, at all?
Am I using “when” as an excuse to hold myself back? Or, to avoid the rapid change it takes us to get to that destination?
How often do you find yourself saying “when”?
“I’ll be happy when.”
“We’ll do that when…”
“I’ll feel successful when….”
In our day-to-day life, the word “when” has become significant.
“I’ll read my book when the baby takes a nap.”
“I’ll write my Substack when I don’t have a crushing migraine.”
“I’ll start sharing pictures of myself when I lose ten pounds.”
“I’ll start cooking healthier when the fall hits.”
All of which are valid reasons because we only have so much time in a day, but what happens if “when” becomes our habit?
“I’ll write that book when life isn’t so hectic.”
“I’ll launch a podcast when I feel like I reached a certain level.”
“I’ll start that::insert career change course:: when I have more time.”
Is “when” the plateau point to our success?
Do we use “when” to avoid our subconscious fears?
It’s not easy to put yourself out there in the pursuit of your ultimate life: however, you define it. It’s not easy to fail, to pick yourself up again, and to continue to try something new. There are so many small moments that challenge us, daily, and we often use “when” as a way to delay ourselves, rather than propel ourselves forward.
In the English language, “When” is meant to be used as a subordinating conjunction- a word that connects an action or a point in time- it’s not meant to delay an action or a point in time.
In using the word “when” as a way to avoid doing something, we are being pigheaded in the belief that time, our time here, is certain. Rather than wait to accomplish something on your bucket list, plan for it now. Do you want to see all the national parks in America? Amazing. Plan to visit one a year and budget for that goal. Isn’t it better to have seen at least one, than none at all?
Instead of using the word “when” to justify not doing something, let’s use the word “when” to refer to something of which we are certain.
“I will feel so proud of myself when I finish writing this novel.” sounds a lot better than “I will write that novel when I have time.” Right?
“I love myself now, and will continue to love myself when I lose ten more pounds.” sounds a lot better than “I will be in the picture when I lose ten more pounds.” Right?
We don’t know “when” our last day is, so isn’t it better to try now than die with regret?
In my life, there are so many moments I robbed myself of my own joy because I used “when” as a benchmark rather than a daily motivation. I spent so much time looking into the future of “when” that I missed what was happening right in front of me. Now, I’d rather chip away daily at my creative expression, and know that I lived each day with as much gusto as I could. That way, when I get to my next destination, I can say “I did all I could.”
It’s not easy to uncouple yourself from this habit, but I have a feeling when you do, it’ll be worth it.
Journal Prompt of the Week
Think of your deepest desire and dream. Write it down.
Now, think of all the times you used “when” to delay that dream.
Now, think of how proud you would feel if you accomplished that goal sooner. Looking at your day-to-day, could you make an appointment with yourself to chip away at it? From 6-7 every night, maybe?
Try it out, friends. And, lemme know how it goes.
As always, I’m grateful you’re here. Writing is my “when”, and being here week to week is my greatest joy.
You can follow me on Instagram @ leannegelish and visit our merchandise site www.saltwithsoul.com (it’s currently under a bit of construction to make it more optimized, but it should still be working!) We’ll see you Thursday for a little bit of Salt.